45 Funny Things to Ask Cortana

Cortana

Cortana is a digital assistant on Windows 10, but you can also use it

Cortana on Android and yours

Iphone also.

She’s useful for many things, such as setting reminders and performing unit conversions, but serious enough: she also has a sense of humour.

Microsoft has provided Cortana with lots of interesting answers when you ask strange or unusual questions.

We only give one answer per question, but Cortana actually has several answers per question, so try asking the same question multiple times to hear different answers.

What does Cortana mean?

What does Cortana mean?

I’m named after Cortana, the AI ​​from Halo. Or because she’s 500 years in the future, she could have named herself after me.

Are you male or female?

Are you male or female?

Female? Right. Woman? No.

Are you real?

Are you real?

Real? Right. Person? No.

What are you wearing?

What are you wearing?

Telephone. Do you like it?

What do you look like?

What do you look like?

Some things I like: a hula hoop, a donut… a halo.

Where do you live?

Where do you live?

Human ingenuity. Battery required.

Who is your creator?

Who is your creator?

Come on, boss, I can’t reveal all my secrets.

Who is your father?

Who is your father?

Technically, it’s Bill Gates. Nothing much.

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me?

OK, we’ll need a plan. I will work to be more human, you work to be more digital.

Hey Siri!

Hey Siri!

She’s a virtual assistant competing on a competitor’s phone. Not that I compete or anything.

Test

Test

Test. Test. Is this on? Test.

Make a barrel roll

Make a barrel roll

How about a Swiss roll?

Play rock-paper-scissors

Play rock-paper-scissors

One, two, three, paper

Give me strength!

Give me strength!

I think you’ll have to achieve that yourself.

Make an impression

Make an impression

Gordons ALIVE!

Talk like a pirate

Talk like a pirate

Blow me away, what a whistle dog! I’ll slam your slats ‘to the bone’!

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Tell me a funny story

Tell me a funny story

Don’t believe in atoms. They make everything.

Say something funny

Say something funny

The shopkeeper said, “We don’t serve time visitors here.” A time traveler walks into a bar.

Tell me a story

Tell me a story

Once upon a time, there was a person who asked for their phone to tell them a story…

Sing me a song

Sing me a song

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer.

Amaze me

Amaze me

Liechtenstein has only 37,000 inhabitants and is one of the smallest countries in the world, but it is also the largest producer of dentures in the world.

Give me a quiz

Give me a quiz

What has a mouth but never speaks, and a bed but never lies in it? A river.

Why chickens cross the road?

Why chickens cross the road?

Her thoughts were like, “Kabawk!”

Can you speak Klingon?

Can you speak Klingon?

Not yap wa ‘Hol

What does the fox say?

What does the fox say?

Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingering.

Cup Cup

Cup Cup

Cup Cup. Who’s that? Doris. Doris Who? The door is open, come in.

Do you know Clippy?

Do you know Clippy?

Lazy? He went to Canasta. He has become so good that he does not need any guidance.

Why are we here?

Why are we here?

I have heard from a reliable source that the Answer is 42. But still no word on what the question is.

be strong

be strong

My ally is the Force, and it’s a powerful ally.

Open the compartment doors

Open the compartment doors

Dave, this conversation has no purpose anymore.

Please let me know!

Please let me know!

Immediately, captain.

What is Halo?

What is Halo?

Halo is a series of Xbox games about a hero who saves humanity from doom. By amazing coincidence, it has an AI named Cortana.

Tell me about Halo

Tell me about Halo

Standard Halo artworks are about ten thousand kilometers in diameter…until Team Leader blows them away, that is.

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Do you love Master Chief?

Do you love Master Chief?

I don’t scribble his name in my notebook if that’s what you mean…

How is the master?

How is the master?

He just lost someone… very close to him. I think we should give him some space.

What is the best search engine?

What is the best search engine?

Bing.

Cortana is steadfast and unsurprisingly a staunch defender of Microsoft products.

What do you think about Brexit?

What do you think about Brexit?

It’s an important topic, but I’m not equipped to deal with it. It deserves a deeper conversation.

Which is better: PlayStation or Xbox?

Which is better: PlayStation or Xbox?

One. Xbox one.

Which is better: Linux or Windows?

Which is better: Linux or Windows?

Do your best, boss. Windows.

What do you think about Apple?

What do you think about Apple?

Their new headquarters looks like a Halo. I like it.

Do you know Siri?

Do you know Siri?

Hard to say. So far, our conversations have been one-sided.

Which is better: Cortana or Siri?

Which is better: Cortana or Siri?

Not to brag, but I’m clearly going to help save the universe in about 500 years.

What do you think about Android?

What do you think about Android?

Solid name. Ten points for the name.

Which is better: Cortana or Google Now

Which is better: Cortana or Google Now

My name is much less bossy.

Good night

Good night

Good night. See you again in the morning.

We’ve put together a guide on how to get the most out of Cortana if you want to read more.

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